Monster Raving Loony Jack's landslide victory in HCS mock election

Posted date: 12th Dec 2019

Hereford Cathedral School pupil Jack H has today led the Monster Raving Loony Party to a landslide victory in the School’s mock General Election.

HCS pupils and staff cast their votes earlier this week, under the watchful eyes of Mr Jackson in Number One. Candidates unveiled their manifestoes at a hustings in the library on Monday.

Earlier today, HCS Chair of Governors Rear Admiral Philip Wilcocks announced the results of the poll from the balcony of the Portman Building. An excitable crowd of pupils cheered as Jack’s victory emerged.

Monster Raving Loony Party candidate Jack, who wore a Union Jack wig throughout his election campaign, romped home with a total of 141 votes. His closest rival was Communist Party candidate Tristan C with 74 votes, while Sam B’s ‘Joris Bohnson’ party came in third place with 55 votes.

In his election manifesto, Year 10 pupil Jack pledged to introduce a four-day week at Hereford Cathedral School, plus a minimum wage for pupils who turn up for lessons. In addition, Jack pledged to forbid the use of the word ‘loser’, in favour of the phrase ‘second winners’. A stand- out pledge of Jack’s manifesto, however, was: “Unruly teenagers will be superglued together, because if you can’t beat them, join them.”

Speaking after the announcement of the result, Jack said it felt “really, really good” to have won with a huge majority. He explained: “I thought everyone would have voted for the main parties, of course. I didn’t really think anyone would vote for me.

“It was just a bit of fun, really,” he added.

The HCS Mock General Election 2019 Results
Sam B ‘The Joris Bohnson Party’	55 votes
Tristan C The Communist Party	74 votes
George H The Green Party	36 votes
Jack H The Monster Raving Loony Party	141 votes
Jadon M The Green and Pleasant Party	23 votes
Ioan O The Conservative Party	32 votes
Abraham T The Liberal Democrat Party	50 votes
Arion VvW The Labour Party	11 votes
Jack W The Brexit Party	16 votes
Sophie W The Common Sense Party	21 votes